


The Imperfect Time Traveler

by BlossomBlue



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-08 14:40:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6859135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomBlue/pseuds/BlossomBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At just the age of seventeen, Eren Jaeger finds out he can travel back in time. </p><p>A few years later, after tragedy strikes him, he has no choice left but to use his power to save his late girlfriend, Mikasa Ackerman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hah okay so guess who died from feels the other day thinking this shit up. Me. And guess who's making it into a multi chapter story. Me. Tbh I'm super proud of myself for really getting back into writing recently, like writing loads. Woop. Gold star for me. oooooo also thanks my little beta reader @littleswagmonster for doing all of the awesome stuffs.  
> Enjoy Chapter 1!

Chapter 1

Travelling back into the past was always something that he read about in books, or something he’d seen on TV. It’s not something that often plagued his mind, only when it was brought into conversation. The only passing thought he gained was that it would be cool to go back, and re live days that spawned beautiful memories. Then again, he was only a child when he thought this, so most of the world around him was incomprehensible for his little mind to fathom. In fact, Eren Jaeger spent most of his days as a child not having a care in the world, playing with his childhood friend Armin. They often sought refuge in the big back garden Eren’s house had, running around and screaming like little children should do when their young. The innocence and beauty that radiated off of them was the deciding factor for Carla Jaeger, Eren’s late mother, to not tell him about the power that he owned.

She had felt terrible about not telling him in person, but then again, that was not her decision to make. Luckily, a few days after Eren’s fifth birthday, Carla had written a letter to Eren, explaining everything to him. She thought about telling him everything on her death bed, yet he would have too many questions, and there wouldn’t be enough time to answer them all. She had hoped she managed to answer most questions she knew he would have. In the letter, she had requested that once he had figured out how to use it, that he followed three rules. One, not to abuse the power. Two, to only let people that he trusted with his life, such as Armin, know about it. And three, to not travel back in time to his mother’s death bed. Eren had respected all three rules, and will continue to do so until his grave bears over him.

At seventeen, when Eren had lost his dear mother, he had just started college. A few days into fresher’s week, he had found the letter, in his mother’s room, at the back of her walk in wardrobe, tucked behind some old boxes filled with seemingly useless memories. Once he had read it, he laughed aloud to himself, thinking it was some kind of joke. Even after life, Carla still loved to see her son get fooled. Eren didn’t like to think he was a gullible person, alas, everyone that knew him would say otherwise. After showing the letter to Armin, they both laughed, and as a joke, Armin had suggested he actually try it out. Eren obliged, only for his mother, though.

The letter stated that he had to clear his mind, and think about where he would like to go. Perhaps five minutes, maybe five years. To be safe, Eren suggested to himself that he should think about the moment he found the letter. He closed his eyes, thinking about walking into his mother’s wardrobe, and the boxes he had found. He then placed his lower thumb in his mouth, biting down on it quite harshly, Armin giggling the whole time. 

Suddenly, without warning, a flash of light consumed him, yet he could not open his eyes. They were glued shut, as a sharp pain pierced through his body, mainly his wrist. There was an eerie silence the engulfed him, and he shouted out, yet gained no echo, no reply. Once he could finally open his emeralds, he was back in front of his mothers wardrobe. He could hear Armin shuffling down stairs again, as they were sorting through Carla’s possessions. He shrieked loudly, and fell back on his bottom. His recalled that his breathing had been eradicated, panting and heaving heavily as Armin made his way up the stairs.

Of course, Armin hadn’t recalled anything.

After explaining everything to Armin, he only laughed. Being a very logical person, simply the idea sounded silly to him. But once Eren had proved himself, reading out the letter off by heart, and completing other such tasks, Armin had no choice but to accept it. The fact Eren had such a power baffled both of them, as they re-read the letter hundreds of times over.

Carla had written down that she also possessed the same power as Eren, yet had only used it a few times. Her own mother had told her, and Eren had gathered that this was something that passed down in the family. No one knew where it came from, and what triggered it, but it was something that the first born child of every Jaeger generation had. Not that Eren was particularly interested in the history of it, but none the less, he respected it. Eren often used to wonder if he ever had children, what it would be like explaining it to them.

After he came out of college, with fairly successful grades, he ignored his power for a while and started to focus on his life, revolving around work. He had planned to get his own place soon, but without any money, the idea seemed near enough impossible. Eren applied for many jobs, jobs that meant nothing to him at all. After seemingly no interviews, he received a call one day from the secretary of a big publishing company, Scouts. He had received an interview for the job he had applied for, which was becoming a novelist editor. This was the one of few he was happy to have received a call from, as he had always had a neglected passion for writing.

As he turned another year older, being now twenty one, he had just started his new job in editing novels. It was a fairly easy job, because you had to creative, and that had never seemed to be a problem for Eren. Words had always seemed to blossom from his brain, oozing out of his fingers as he typed away. A lot of people had been impressed with his work, and often remarked how he should become a writer one day. He shrugged them off, knowing he’d never have the time for that.

Eren set aside some days to himself. Perhaps he was being selfish, but he didn’t care. When he didn’t want to get out of bed, he went back to the moment he fell asleep, feeling properly refreshed. He always figured he was doing someone else a favour, too.

He almost completely forgot about his powers when he met her. Eren had always thought the secretary was pretty cute, but until their usual friendly banter turned into flirting, (and after Armin’s constant nagging) he finally made a move, and asked her on a date.

Six dates and an awkward confession later, the two began dating. Her name was Mikasa Ackerman, and she was truly beautiful. Eren had dated around a little before her, but he truly struck gold when he found her. She was everything he could have ever asked for, and she even got along well with Armin, which made everything a lot easier. She had this unforgettable aroma illuminating her at all times, wherever she went, that made Eren feel star struck. He had mentioned this to her many times, to which she either laughed or shrugged him off. Mikasa didn’t think she was anything special, but she soon became Eren’s whole world.

A little in to two months of dating, he finally decided to tell her about him. She laughed at first, figuring he was joking. Once he had proved it, she didn’t show much emotion. In fact, the only thing she expressed is that she didn’t like it. Mikasa had the view that time shouldn’t be messed with, and that everything happened for a reason. Eren may not have agreed with her, as he even tried to reason with her. Yet she was adamant with her final response. She requested that he didn’t do it anymore, as she thought it was unnatural, and she also didn’t like the fact that he had to hurt himself to do it. Although it hurt him to do such a thing, he couldn’t lose her. He knew in his soul that he would give up anything for this girl. And so, since that day, Eren hasn’t used his power.

 

* * *

 

 

Light poured in through their small apartment window, even though it was an early September morning. Traffic could be heard below them, humming along as it usually did this early in the morning. They both reckoned they lived in the nicer part of town, living in a small block of apartments. They weren’t shoddy, but they weren’t exactly the best place to live. The couple were saving up to move someday, as Mikasa had always expressed having a big house, with a nice garden she could tend to.

Eren wished he could go back in time, just for a few more hours so he could stay snuggled into Mikasa’s neck. His breath tickled against her soft skin, as he heard her still in a deep sleep, breathing softly to herself. Her hair was moulded perfectly around her face, eyelashes kissing her pale skin, mouth slightly open, maybe even a little dribble. Even so, Eren couldn’t help but think she was the most gorgeous angel he’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. It was moments like this he wished could go on forever, cherishing them as long as he could. If he had his way, he would go back and time ten times over, just to stay close to his lover.

Using his free arm, he reached over to the nightstand situated next to their double bed on his side. The couple had gone to sleep spooning, and Eren’s arm was crushed. However, he didn’t try and pull it out from under her weight, knowing it would stir Mikasa from her sleep. He scrolled on his phone for a while, his thumb pausing every now and then to like something or watch a video. When it finally turned to seven am, the radio set off, and Mikasa yawned, slowly lifting her eye lids. She wasn’t a heavy sleeper. The lightest of sounds could wake her, which made moving around in the night very difficult for Eren.

Mikasa out stretched her arms, completely forgetting Eren was there, and punched him in the face.

“Ow, Mika,” He mumbled, a slight grump of annoyance in his voice as he picked up his phone off of his chest, which her fist had caused. She finally let Eren free his arm, and wiggled it about, stretching it, and the rest of him.

Mikasa turned over to him, and smiled. “Thank god it’s Friday, right?”

Eren put his phone back down on the nightstand, and turned his own body to face hers. He only nodded, but his eyes still lit up when he saw her give a soft giggle. He had undying passion for this girl. His hands fumbled to find hers, and when it did, they linked together, squeezing tightly.

“Don’t you have that job interview today?” Eren questioned, slowly making circles with the pad of his thumb around her own lower thumb.

Mikasa sighed, closing her eyes. “Yeah. It’s okay, I know I’ll get it though, so that part doesn’t bother me. The part that bothers me is I have to sit in a room full of a bunch of pompous assholes who think they’re too good for the world. I’ve always hated jobs interviews,” She paused to look up at Eren. He smiled down at her which made her smile in turn.

“It’ll be good for me, though. We can finally start being serious about moving, and-“

“Hey! We are so super serious about moving!”

Mikasa giggled, unlocking her hand to playfully shove him in the shoulder. “How comes every time I’ve brought it up, you always end up tickling me-“

And with that, Eren kept to his word, and began to tickle at her sides. Shrieks of laughter erupted from Mikasa, as she tried her very hardest to scramble away from Eren’s mischievous hands. He lifted himself atop her straddling her, and continued to tickle her.

“Eren! E-Eren…Stop!” Mikasa shrieked through gasping breaths. He finally stopped, gasping for air himself. Seeing Mikasa like that brought him a lot on enjoyment, and never fails to stop his own laughter.

“You were saying?”

Mikasa gave him a smirk, whilst her eyes playfully glared at him. “Oh shut up, you ass.”

“You know you love me,”

After more slaps and a make out session, Mikasa suggested breakfast, to which Eren happily agreed.

Once Eren had gotten ready for the day ahead, having taken a shower, gotten dressed and brushing his teeth, he walked into the kitchen and adjoining living room, to see Mikasa only wearing one of his over sized t-shirts, and nothing else.  She was bent over looking in one of their many cupboards, the t-shirt just barely covering her. Eren’s thoughts trailed back to last night, and he almost, _almost,_ put his two fingers on his left wrist.

“Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in my t-shirts?”

Mikasa arose out of the cupboard, index finger tucked under chin, pretending to be in deep thought. “I recall last night you told me just how sexy I look, so yeah, you have told me.”

Eren sat up at the breakfast bar, leaning his head on his balled up fist, smirking. “Want me to remind you?”

Flour was placed in her right hand, letting her wrist flop outward toward him. “You know that’d be nice, but I don’t really feel like explaining to my new manager the reason why I was late for a life changing interview. I’m flattered though, really,”

“Flour?” Eren asked, changing the subject quickly. He seemed to do that often. “What are you making?”

“I thought you might want pancakes.”

“Pancakes do sound nice, but what about you?”

“What about me?” Mikasa was busy making the pancake mix, her elegant back the only thing Eren could see.

“You don’t like pancakes, so, what are you eating?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. Mikasa was a pretty stubborn person, even down to the simplest of things. Not that it bothered him, as it was a part of her personality, something about he couldn’t change. He wouldn’t want to change anything about her, but her stubbornness has caused a lot of issues in their past three years.

“You should eat something, Mik,”

“I’ll be fine, okay? If I get hungry, I’ll just eat my new manager’s ego.”

This gained a laugh from Eren, and he decided to drop it. He couldn’t help but be a little protective over Mikasa, even she knew this. She didn’t really mind though, as she knew he cared deeply for her, and didn’t want anything bad happening to her. They both knew she was going to get the job, but it was always a ‘just in case’ matter.

Eren was watching the pancakes while Mikasa got ready. He was on his phone again when she came back in the room, giving a little twirl. She was sporting her new, tight black office dress she had especially bought for this occasion. She finished with putting her hands on her hips, wiggling them a little.

“Wow Mika…gorgeous as always, baby girl. Come here,”

Mikasa clicked her way over to Eren, soon realising that she was a little higher than normal. She sported black heels, that made her legs look really good. Eren wrapped his arms tightly around her flat waist, as she wrapped her own arms around his neck.

“I love you baby girl, you know that, don’t you?”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, shaking her head a little before smiling. “Yes, I do know that,” She answered in a hushed voice, checking her watch. “Jeez, when did it get to that time?” She sighed, kissing Eren once slowly on the lips. “I should get going, it’s already eight.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you tonight though, right? We should celebrate,” Eren said, letting go of his girlfriend so she could retrieve her bag. She headed toward the front door, and opened it, looking back.

“You know what? Sure, let’s do it. Buy some expensive champagne, go all out!” She said with a giggle, and a small wave, closing the door with a slight slam, as it needed to be fixed.

The pancakes sizzled on, being the only noise in the room left, yet he lost his appetite once he remembered what he was going to do.

“I already have,” He muttered after her, trying to recall where he’d placed the ring.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a terrible tragedy, Eren refuses to let Mikasa go that easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back with another chapter, after having no inspiration for like 10000 years. I'm not very proud of this, probably could be better but I'm just happy I finished it. To top things off, my fucking keyboard broke halfway through writing this, so I had to use the fucking on screen keyboard EVERY TIME I wanted to use speech marks. It was a fucking NIGHTMARE.   
> Just to note: I changed the way Eren actually travels back in time, like how he does it. I'm sorry if there's any confusion, but how he does it in this chapter is permanent now. (I edited the first chapter too.)  
> Enjoy Chapter 2!

Chapter 2

Their little apartment always felt empty without the other one being there; they both felt like this, sharing some sort of separation anxiety when it came down to it. Eren often tried playing music when he was alone to try and fill the void, yet it couldn’t replace Mikasa’s soft singing voice, or the way she unconsciously hummed along to everything she did, every task she completed throughout the apartment. Eren sat, unhappily munching on an a pile of almost cold pancakes, wishing Mikasa was staring right at him, waiting to make a comment about the way he chewed, or something stupid like that. But she wasn’t. Mikasa was on her way to get a new job that she had basically secured, in hopes of starting a new life for the both of them.

Mikasa often talked to Eren about the future. She liked to joke around that if Eren had the power to go forward in time, she’d make him go and see what the future held for them. She had grand plans for the both of them, expressing interest in having a big home and a garden that she could nurture into something beautiful. Unfortunately living in an apartment didn’t give them, or rather Mikasa, the luxury of having a garden. Unless, the shitty window ledge plants outside on the balcony counted. She wanted the opposite when it came to children, only wanting to deal with one. Which when it came into conversation, neither were ready for just quite yet. They were planning on seeing a lot of the world together before settling down to ‘give up their lives’ as Eren called it. It’s not that he didn’t want children; he just didn’t want them early as all.

One of his favourites thing to do with her was just to lay in bed with, talking into early morning about both of their hopes, and dreams, and desires. Eren could listen to hear go on for hours about her passions in life. He always thought she should try her part in singing; to which she’d always protested in a kind way back to him. No, her passion was found in nature, and drawing landscapes. Eren would often find doodles being left on the floor when he woke in the morning. If she’d had a bad night, she stay up when he was sleeping, and just sketch, sometimes in complete darkness. And it would still always turn out amazing. He’d kept a few of them, not telling her, because she would probably try to bin them. Mikasa had a deep love for nature, and found it incredibly beautiful at every turn. She loved how adventurous and intriguing landscapes looked from a distance, and how tempting they always made her feel. Not that he’d necessarily understand what she was on about; yet he respected it, as much as she did for him.

Being carried away with his thoughts almost led him to bite his fingers, as he soon snapped back into reality, realising he had nothing left on his plate to eat. He sighed, and stood to rinse his plate. After checking the time, he decided that he should probably leave for his train to work, if he didn’t want his rather short, asshole of a boss to beat him.

 

* * *

 

 

Train rides were often spent with Mikasa in silence, and even though there were tons of people around him every day, that didn’t distract him from gazing out of the window, trying to appreciate the views he was gifted along the travel, like Mikasa would do. The smell of must and people was always potent, not that he minded much, his nose being used to the usual sights, smells, and sounds of the train rumbling on toward its destination.

Stepping off of the train, Eren made his way through the unsurprisingly busy train station, littered with people either making their way to work or school. He weaved between people, knowing he was already a little late. The idea of sitting down in front of a desk staring at a screen for the next 7 hours didn’t sound to appealing today, even if he liked what he was doing. He had just wanted to spend the whole day in bed with Mikasa, talking and laughing, cuddling and making out. Eren had very nearly been persuaded by selfish thoughts to go back in time just so he could spend a little longer with her, but he respected his girlfriend way too much for that. 

Girlfriend. Mikasa was his girlfriend. He always liked saying that, whether it be in his head or out loud, liking the way it rolled off of his tongue. Then he recalled that tonight he was going to ask her to marry him, and that was why he’d been more sweaty than usual this morning.

He’d been meaning to ask her for a while now. He knew she would say yes, so he couldn’t pin point why he was so nervous. Eren knew that whatever ended up spewing out of his mouth, Mikasa would love it. He decided to just wing it, hoping nothing to terrible would come out. He only wanted to the best for her, because she deserved the best. Whatever he offered her, she took with open arms, and that’s something he loved dearly about Mikasa.

His thoughts had carried him outside the publishing office, and inside where he greeted the temporary receptionist, Sasha. Temporary was a loose word in the air, because Eren knew that Mikasa would get the new job, so Sasha would most likely be taken on full time. He smiled at her as he walked past, although he wasn’t sure if she had acknowledged it. He made his way up the stairs to his little office, opening the door and slightly slamming it. He mentally prepared his eyes for the strain they were about to receive.

About two hours in, his eyes having no rest, Eren heard a knock at his door. He looked up to see the new receptionist, Sasha, peeking her head through the small window within the door. Her eyes lit up when she spotted him behind his desk, opening the door a little, holding a phone up to her chest.

“Hi, um, sorry to bother you, but I haven’t figured out how to make calls go through to people’s office phones yet, so um, bare with me on that. But, um this is for you,”

She made an awkward waddle to his desk, handing him the phone. She was about to turn away when Eren spoke.

“Thank you, Sasha. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon,” He said with a smile. Sasha held her hands together in front of herself, faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.

“Thank you,” She mumbled, walking away and closing the door slowly. Eren figured she was just nervous about mucking things up. He’d been in her position once, and working here was especially worrying when he had a boss like his. He carried on tapping away with one hand, the other was being used to hold up the phone.

“Hello?”

_“Hello, can you confirm that this is Eren Jaeger speaking?”_

“Yeah, that’s me,” He replied, still typing away, eyes not flicking away from the screen.

The woman on the other end of the phone cleared her throat before continuing. _“This is Trost Hospital calling, your girlfriend, Mikasa Ackerman has been admitted into hospital after a shooting occurred at Trost Bank. Are you able to come down, Mr Jaeger?”_

He stopped typing mid word. The cursor kept flashing, as the words sunk in and buried their way into his mind. His heart stopped beating altogether, making his blood run cold after hearing those disgusting words.

“She got…S-She got-t s-shot…didn’t she?” He dropped the phone, it making a small smash on the floor. Echo’s of _“Mr Jaeger? Mr Jaeger??”_ could be heard, but Eren wasn’t paying attention. The only thing he could hear was the sound of his a piece of his heart and soul breaking off, and crashing on the floor. Not Mikasa, god, please, not her. If only he could swap places, he’d much rather it be him than her. Something serious must have happened to her if she was put into hospital. Eren could help but let the worst thoughts flood into his head, what if she was to lose an arm or a leg, or even worse, what if she died?

He dropped to his knees after falling off of his chair out of complete shock, trying to hold back the tears, although he wasn’t trying very hard. He finally gave in, letting out a single, loud sob, before grasping around carelessly for the phone.

_“Mr Jaeger? Are you there? Hello?”_

“Y-Yeah, I’m…h-here. I’ll be down there s-soon…Please tell Mikasa that,”

He ended the call abruptly, not allowing the worker on the other end to say anything else. He stood up shakily, leaving his work on his computer unsaved, making his way over to grab his coat. He left his office with only his coat and the phone. Eren needed to find his bosses office, to tell him he was leaving. Which, even though it seemed would be a difficult task, he hoped that his boss would have some kind of heart left. Eren decided that even if he wasn’t allowed, he’d go anyway, and get fired for it if it came to it. Mikasa was important than a job to him. Mikasa was everything to him, and that fact alone hit him hard when he stood outside Levi Ackerman’s office.

With no time to spare, he swung open the door loudly, earning Eren a glare from steel cold eyes, just barely above a monitor. His chin was resting in his hand, and neither of them said a word for a few moments, both of them listening to Eren’s erratic breathing.

“Sir, it’s my girlfriend, she’s been admitted into Trost Hospital because there was a shooting and they asked me to go and see her and I’m so worried about her and I don’t care if you don’t let me go hell you can even fire me if you want but I have to go see her because…because…” He finally let the tears stream down his face, feeling defeated, because his world around was falling apart piece by piece. He knew he was rambling and Levi probably didn’t make out a word of it but it was all he had.

“If you didn’t care about me firing me you, then why even come tell me in the first place?” His boss asked, still expressionless, remaining in the same position.

Eren sweat covered hand tightened around the door knob, struggling to find something to say. “I…um…was kind of hoping you wouldn’t fire me…?”

“I may be a stone cold bastard most of the time, but Christ brat, I do actually have heart. I can understand why you’d think that, though. If you hadn’t come and told me, I may have considered it. But you made the right choice,” He paused, studying Eren’s terror filled face. Levi himself had been in that position before, and knew exactly how he felt, and recalled what if felt like to get a call like that. It must have been horrible.

“You’d better get going, then.”

Eren’s eyes bled the words _Thank you_ , turning around to race out of the office, and the building. He turned on his heel before Levi called out again.

“Eren!”

He whipped his head back around, brown bangs almost getting in the way of his teal, yet clouded eyes.

“Tell her I wish her the best,”

He only nodded in reply.

 

* * *

 

 

The journey to the hospital was one of the most stressful things Eren had ever had to endure. On the train, part of him wanted to curl into a ball, and just sob, shaking violently, until he threw up. The other part of him, the biggest part, wanted to lash out, to scream and cry and shriek about how it wasn’t fair, and that the Universe had cursed him. Yet somehow, Eren had managed to keep his emotions in check, looking like the average person on a normal train journey. He wanted, needed to see her. To make sure she was okay. To hug her tightly and promise her the world, to protect her with his life.

Eren almost wanted to believe it was a set up. That this was an elaborate prank Mikasa was playing, just to trick him into thinking she’d been hurt, when in reality, she’d gotten a new job, and her salary was enough for them to finally start looking for houses to live in, with a nice garden. He’d kill her for making him worry, and cry, and walking out half way through the day in his job, but she’d make it up to him by taking him out to dinner, an expensive restaurant that she’d wanted to try for ages.

When he finally got to the hospital, he found out that that wasn’t the case.

After a hurried conversation with the receptionist, he dodged and weaved his way between clients and workers, rushing as fast as he could toward her room. The world around him zipped past quickly, everything around him only being made out in quick flashes of light, and people’s confused faces. He was murmuring to himself, hoping, praying she’d be okay.

He skidded in front of Room 24, an operating room, to his surprise. Eren made slow movements toward the small window in the door, scared to peer in. When he finally did, his heart leapt into his throat. Mikasa was lying there, on a bed, still, fragile, pale, much more pale than she usually was. She didn’t have any wires in her wrists, no oxygen mask around her neck. A doctor and a few nurses were surrounding her, each with their heads bowed low. The room was sombre and silent, a deafening silence that drowned Eren.

Once Eren had shakily opened the door, he didn’t even have to ask. Each worker’s face described what was going on. His own face fell with them, as he tried to make his way over to the bed where she laid. One foot dragged in front of the other, sliding painfully loudly, squeaking along the floor.

“I’m so…sorry, for your loss, Sir. We tried everything we could,”                                      

“I believe you, really I do.”

It was then that Eren fell to the floor, in complete and utter disbelief. His other half, the person who kept him alive, was gone. How was he supposed to live now? His soul was breaking in half, leaving him, just as Mikasa had done. He violently shook on the floor, holding himself tightly, bracing himself for the feeling of vomiting to return. Loud sobs filled the room, yet no one embraced him, not that he cared. What would he do now? Where would his life lead?

In his eyes, a life without Mikasa wasn’t worth living. All the things he’d do without her, things that they’d always planned to do together, that he’d have to do solo. It didn’t sound right. It didn’t feel right, her not being there when he woke in the mornings, to join her in showers, to make her breakfast, and for that to be returned some mornings. When they got home together, there wouldn’t be conversations about how crap their days were, or half full glasses of wine leaning up against the sofa, Mikasa leg’s draped over Eren’s. He wouldn’t have that anymore.

Eren wasn’t the type of person to give up that easily. Especially on Mikasa. He knew what he had to do, and as much as it pained him to do so, he figured nothing could be more painful than what he just felt. Plus, she’d still be alive, which he was sure that she’d want. It was hard for him to clear his mind, but he focused on the events early this morning, in the kitchen. Blinking away more tears, Eren slowly lifted his lower thumb to his mouth, biting down.

 

* * *

 

 

 Once the light had finally subsided, Eren blinked slowly, noticing he was back at home, sitting on the breakfast bar that they owned. He didn’t look around, only in front of him.

“Eren…? Eren are you okay?”

Eren let out a sigh of relief. He arose from his seat, and made his way over to Mikasa, turning her around and hugging her tightly, letting a tear roll down, light glinting off it perfectly.

“Glad to see you’ve joined us back on planet Earth, Eren,”

He wiped his tear away with a free hand. Eren had decided not to mention anything to her yet, as it would most likely freak her out. The only thing he could do within his power is try to persuade her not to go for the job interview, which was going to be a difficult task.

“Eren, I love you, but you’re crushing me, and these pancakes will burn- are you…crying?” Mikasa asked, pulling back whilst placing her hands on his forearms. Worry soon plastered her face.

“Something in my eye, as all. Hey Mik, can I ask you something?”

She shook her head closing her eyes, smiling when he smiled at her, turning back to the pancakes. “Yeah?”

“Would you do me a favour, and…not go for that job interview?” He cringed, wincing at the words as they left his mouth. He realised how stupid they must have sounded to her, when little under half an hour ago, he was rooting for her to get the job. Mikasa stopped turning the pancakes over, only turning her head halfway backward toward him.

“Very funny, Eren.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, I’m being serious? I just don’t think it’s such a good idea…I mean…um…you’re happy with where you are now, right?”

She shoved the spatula into the frying pan, fully turning herself toward him, eyebrows raised. Eren could tell she was getting slightly annoyed.

“Are you being serious right now, Eren? How long have I wanted this, how long have I waited for an opportunity like this to come along? I’m going. I don’t know what’s gotten into all of a sudden, but you’re being childish, so stop it.”

Eren dropped his head. He would get on his knees and beg her if he had to, to stop her from going. “Please, Mikasa, just trust me, I know what I’m doing-“

“And I know what I’m doing!” Mikasa interrupted, tearing away from his grip. She glared at him before glaring at her watch. “It’s late, I’m going, finish your own damn food-“

“Mikasa, wait, please!”

With her head held high, she walked around him and the breakfast bar, picking her bag up, heading for the door. Every click of her heels along the floor felt like one more click of a clock toward to her death. Eren dropped to his knees for what felt like the hundredth time today, holding out his hand.

“You’re being selfish Eren, this isn’t like you- “ Her words stopped flowing when she saw Eren on the floor. She suppressed a laugh, as he was being a little dramatic. That feeling soon left her, as tears sprung from his beautiful emeralds. Her hand lightly touched the door knob.

“You…you really don’t want me to get the job?”

Eren shook his head, stumbling for words, racking his brain, trying to find something, anything that would make sense to her. There was nothing, nothing he could say that would make her not go. If he told her the truth, she wouldn’t believe him, because she placed her trust in him, not to go back in time. And he’d broken it.

He had no choice. He had to tell her the truth, he couldn’t lie to her. Eren wished there was a way of telling her without adding the fact that he’d broken her trust entirely, but alas, there was no way. He didn’t really feel like lying to her even more, anyway.

Eren took a death breath, closing his eyes, retracting his hand, letting both hands ball up into fists on his lap.

“Eren? What’s going on?”

He sighed. He didn’t want to do this. He opened his eyes, light shining through making them gleam.

“If you go to that interview, you’ll die, Mikasa.”

 


End file.
